Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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