I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
