We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
