And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize