I want you more than these girls want KFC
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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