Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
