My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
