last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
