yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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