i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
