anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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