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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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