Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize