i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
