so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
