insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Randomize
