I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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