In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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