no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
