I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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