No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
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