Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
