I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
