Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
