do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
