you mean i was at the winter classic?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
