This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
