So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I wish i was in the wii world.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
