I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
