You can't special order awesome
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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