So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
