A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
