thus making me awesome and them whores
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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