literally had 100 drinks last night.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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