bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Green mimosas i think yes
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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