I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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