hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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