I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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