I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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