whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
