I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
