if you like me you must not know who I am
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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