I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize