it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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