Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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