god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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