wake up i wanna do it froggy style
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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