My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
