I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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