I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
