"it" just moved
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
