I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
