Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
