textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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