ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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