Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
