I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
