At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
