Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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