This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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