So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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