im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
