Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
