Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize